“I was vulnerable that time and I cant stop myself from falling for that guy eventhough I knew it was wrong.”
And so a heck lot of women now uses “vulnerability” as a reason to excuse themselves from being tagged as non-thinking species. Much like diarrhea is an excuse to not go to work.
I am raised with a strong feminism dogma, and I saw it with my own eyes how women can be as strong and enduring as any other gender in this universe. Thats why it breaks my heart to hear stories of women being abused. However, it infuriates me whenever a woman would timidly and straighforwardly say “I let him do that to me because I was weak and I love him“. Holy flippin guacamole! First of all, weak and love looks absolutely ridiculous when put together in a sentence.
Vulnerability, just like pretty much everything else in this life — is a choice. And (sorry I dont mean to offend but I mean to be rude) its a shame how woman use this as an excuse to be dumb. Oh no, I didnt say I was never dumb. Infact I was. Alot of times before. Dumb about love. Dumber about men. I saw in him a prince while everybody saw him as a monster. Doing everything because I love him. Believing everything he said because the words tasted sweet coming from his lips. Believing in all his lies. Let him chain me down into a life of anger and frustration and anxiety–simply because I love him. Simply because my heart says he was good enough for me. All that crap. Ive been there, done that, got myself a certificate of recognition. We are all entitled to a specific amount of stupidity. The rest keeps on abusing that priviledge.
In retrospect, it felt weird and shameful. And I know someday when you look back in all this dark days, you will feel the same thing. Shameful because I had a choice and I knew I had those choices. But I kept saying I was vulnerable. I kept convincing myself there is no other choice but to accept this mediocrity which abusive men call Love.
I am writing this as a small plea to all the women, especially to those I really treasure in my life: Know your worth. Always.