Thoughts jump up and down my brain like a 5-year old kid on a trampoline. But what I am really thinking?
Right now I am anxious. With less than 48 hours before I start tagging my post dated 2014, I cant quite put into words how I feel, or how I should feel. Isnt this how we humans tend to feel when face with the enormity of the unknown? We are almost enthusiastic but not quite. Almost thrilled but carries in our heart an unquantifiable amount of fear. That omnipresent fear for everything we will never understand. Fear for a loud banging on the door in the middle of a quiet night. Fear for not really knowing who is on the other side, or what news he carries with him. Fear that the person knocking is a drunk man soaked in tears, clothes torn apart, with a pool of blood slowly forming at his feet.
Or it may be a man beaming with light on his face, screaming that you let him in because he cant contain the excitement of sharing the news to you. That he won the lottery. That he won the ticket to a life you only wish you have. That he have with him the answer to everything you ever really dreamed of. All the while holding a dozen of roses in his hand and his decanter, with the remains of the food you prepared for him early this morning.
I do believe that our soul is like a great big house filled with things we lavish it with. Full of furnitures we chose ourselves after a day of exploring a busy shop. Full of memories we chose to keep. Full of dress we chose to wear. Full of light that you let in. And in the very center of it, right by the fire, is where your treasures will be. And you alone has the ability to choose the vessel for your riches – chose between your own jar of hope, or the old Pandora’s box.
And remember that whatever you chose will be in the center of the humanity you will ever have.
P.S I miss you all.